


Here we are, both of us lonely

by Kebbi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I suppose, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, One Night Stands, Tsukki has many many inner demons, We've Got Tonight, actually sorta based on that song, anyway it's fluffy stuff hope u enjoy, but then it turns into something more, except it's more like, i mean it probably counts as hurt/comfort, just very fluffy i suppose, maybe a little angst but actually no, maybe kuroo has some too, they have a ons, we've got the day after lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21822658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kebbi/pseuds/Kebbi
Summary: This wasn’t like him; this wasn’t what Kei usually did. He wasn’t the type of guy to watch a movie with. He wasn’t the type of guy to make breakfast for.He was the type of guy to satisfy urges with and throw out in the morning.“No one ever made me breakfast”, he admitted, not sure why he would say that now, out of nowhere. “I mean, then again, why would anyone want to?” A bitter laugh escaped his lips. But Kuroo didn’t laugh at that at all. He just eyed him seriously.“I bet tons of guys would have loved to make you breakfast. You just never stayed long enough to find out.” He paused for a moment, before giving Kei a smug smile. “Lucky for me though, I guess.”
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 27
Kudos: 259





	1. Chapter 1

He didn’t even particularly like sex. Not really, that’s not why he had been doing this.

It was for the few gentle moments in between. Soft touches and strong arms keeping him safe. But his hook ups usually weren’t very keen on providing those, and even if they did, it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t what he’d been looking for. It never felt as warm and safe as he’d anticipated.

Honestly, it was exhausting. He didn’t want to spend his nights like this. He didn’t want to meet with people he didn’t know. It made him want to go home, but he found that when he did go home, alone, he only felt worse.

So, he’d spend another night in the arms of a faceless stranger, sharing a few intimate moments that didn’t feel intimate at all, and sneaking out in the early morning hours.

Today wasn’t an exception. He stood in front of the mirror in the bar’s bathroom and combed through his blond hair with his fingers. It had gotten pretty long, the tips of his hair reaching down to his eyes. But Kei hadn’t really been motivated to get it cut and it didn’t look so bad anyway.

He went back out and sat down at the counter. The bartender gave him a knowing glance and prepared him a drink. He rarely went anywhere else. The music and the drinks weren’t half bad here, and he never had to leave by himself. Maybe the reason, he found hook ups so quickly was because he already had a reputation, because people here knew he was easy.

Not that he minded, if anything it was convenient.

He didn’t need to wait long today either. A tall guy sat down next to him and ordered a drink.

“Hey. How are you?”

Kei took a sip from his glass. “I’m good”, he said without looking up.

“Not the sociable type, huh?”

He turned to face him, and was surprised, at how attractive he was. His dark hair was styled in the most ridiculous manner, but it suited him and the confidence in his eyes was captivating. _He would do._

“Just not very fond of small talk”, Kei said with a challenging smile. “Seems like a waste of time, doesn’t it?”

“Is that so?” The guy laughed. “I’m Kuroo”, he said, offering his hand. Kei ignored the hand and leaned forward, coming close to Kuroo’s ear. “Tsukishima”, he whispered, and got up from his stool.

“So, Tsukishima, where are you headed?”

“Depends”, he said, knowing all too well, what effect he had on guys like him. “Where’s your house at?”

“Wow, that’s some confidence”, he replied, chuckling.

“You don’t wanna take me home then?”

“No, no, I do.” Kuroo got up, nonchalantly put his arm around Kei’s waist and led him outside.

~

Kuroo gently brushed back his blonde hair and placed a few kisses on his forehead, before pulling back a little, trying to meet Kei’s eyes.

Kei turned his head away, trying to hide his embarrassment behind furrowed brows. “You don’t have to treat me gently like this. Just do what you like. I’m not that fragile.”

Kuroo cupped his face, and looked at him silently, until Kei gave in and met his gaze.

“Maybe I’d like to treat you gently.”

And he did. Every touch was so soft and kind, as though Kei was something precious, he didn’t want to risk breaking. He was so sweet Kei felt his chest aching.

 _There is nothing here, deserving of this kindness_ , he thought. But he didn’t say it out loud. Because more than anything, he wanted to be someone precious enough to be treated like this. Even if it was only for tonight, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

~

Kei woke up, the morning sun shining in through the window, which was a clear sign that he had slept for too long. Kuroo wasn’t there so he probably lost his chance to sneak out unnoticed.

Still, he hastily got out of bed and threw on his clothes. Maybe he was lucky, and Kuroo was in the shower or something. Maybe it wasn’t too late to leave.

He sneaked out of the bedroom and into the hallway. A smell of fried eggs and coffee came from what Kei assumed to be the kitchen-cum-living room. Just when he slipped into his shoes, he heard someone clearing his throat behind him.

“In quite a hurry, are we?” Kuroo said, standing in the doorway of said room.

Kei didn’t know what to say to that. See, that’s why he always made sure to leave before his partner woke up. But he’d slept too long, too comfortably, perhaps.

Kuroo smiled at his helpless face. “Look, I made breakfast already. And wouldn’t it be deeply pitiful if I had to eat it all by myself?”

How was he supposed to react to that? How was he supposed to just go, when this dream of a guy made breakfast for him?

Kuroo didn’t wait for a reply, he stepped closer and helped Kei out of his coat. He softly grazed his cheek with his lips. “Just stay for breakfast”, he whispered, and Kei found himself nodding at that.

They sat down at the kitchen counter, where Kuroo had dished up fresh coffee, fried eggs and toast, as well as cheese and jelly. Kei couldn’t remember the last time he had had a breakfast like that. Actually, he wasn’t too sure if he had ever had a breakfast like that. He usually just drank a coffee and ate some left-over rice – if he had any breakfast at all, that was. He could just never muster the motivation to make proper breakfast for himself. It felt like such a waste, all that effort just for him.

Kuroo looked at him, insecurely. “I have peanut butter too, if you like that, or, uh, tea? Do you prefer tea?”

Kei quickly shook his head. “No, no this is more than enough.” He caught himself smiling at the way Kuroo immediately relaxed at his words.

He didn’t really know how to deal with this breakfast buffet, wasn’t sure if it was okay to just take something, so he waited for Kuroo to take something first. Kuroo didn’t though, instead he urged Kei to have some toast and some eggs and poured him some coffee.

“Milk? Sugar?”, he asked.

Kei shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”

“Oh, really? Would have taken you for someone who prefers sweet things”, he replied with a shrug and filled his own cup with coffee and milk.

Instead of replying, Kei had a sip of his coffee. It smelled good, better than the one he made himself for sure. He didn’t really care for the bitter taste though. But as long as it made him feel a little more awake, a little more alive, it was enough.

He felt Kuroo watching him, an eyebrow raised. “You don’t have to force yourself to drink it black”, he said with a laugh and Kei immediately felt self-conscious. _What kind of face was he making?_ “Just take some milk, it’s not like I’m gonna charge you.” And with that he poured some into the blonde’s cup.

Kei didn’t say anything to that, because he felt like an idiot. Even more so, when he took another sip of the coffee and had to admit that he actually quite liked it.

He had a slice of toast with jelly and a glass of orange juice that Kuroo had already poured for him, before he could have refused. Kuroo had at least three slices and some egg too, and Kei wondered how he managed to eat all that.

“Are you done already?”, he asked, after Kei didn’t take any seconds. “How can you eat so little? No wonder you’re so thin! At least have some egg, it’s really good, trust me.” And with that Kuroo put some on his plate. It was in fact really good.

They ate up and talked some (it was mostly Kuroo talking, really) and just when the black-haired guy had poured them another cup of coffee, his eyes fell onto the clock on the wall and widened in shock.

“You have an appointment?” Kei asked. Suddenly he was very aware, of how he should have left hours ago. What point was there in staying any longer? They wouldn’t meet again anyway. “Sorry for staying so long.”

Kuroo shook his head. “No, no, no, don’t worry. I don’t, well, I do, but no need to leave!”, he said, hastily piling the plates next to the sink.

Kei wasn’t so sure about that. “No, really, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You don’t bother me. Not at all! But my favorite movie is on TV right now, and we really HAVE to watch that, sorry.” With that he carried both their cups to the couch and set them onto the coffee table. “Are you coming?”, he asked, switching on the TV.

Kei just stood there, thrown off guard. But the way Kuroo looked at him, full of expectation, tapping onto the space next to him, had Kei helpless. So, he walked over and awkwardly sat down next to Kuroo, who immediately wrapped them both into his giant woolen blanket. Kei didn’t understand, why Kuroo would want his company. But he caught himself thinking, this wasn’t so bad.

He was surprised when the movie on the screen wasn’t some action flick but Howl’s Moving Castle. He chuckled and turned to Kuroo. “Really? That’s your favorite?”

“Maybe not my favorite, but I watched it non-stop when I was younger.” He made a pouting face. “You don’t like it?”

Kei shifted his gaze back to the screen. “No, I guess I do.”

They watched for a while in silence and he felt Kuroo caressing his hair absentmindedly, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. “Aren’t you a little like him though?”, Kuroo suddenly asked.

“How so?”

“I mean you’re crazy beautiful, but you seem to be terrible at taking care of yourself.”

Kei wasn’t sure if it was an insult or a compliment or maybe a little of both, but it did make him feel some kinda way. Unknowing of the appropriate way to react, he decided to ignore the commentary and focus on the movie.

After a while, Kei wasn’t sure when and how it had happened, he found himself leaning against Kuroo’s chest, who still caressed his hair. It was warm and nice, and it made his chest feel a little heavy.

This wasn’t like him; this wasn’t what Kei usually did. He wasn’t the type of guy to watch a movie with. He wasn’t the type of guy to make breakfast for.

He was the type of guy to satisfy urges with and throw out in the morning.

“No one ever made me breakfast”, he admitted, not sure why he would say that now, out of nowhere. “I mean, then again, why would anyone want to?” A bitter laugh escaped his lips. But Kuroo didn’t laugh at that at all. He just eyed him seriously.

“I bet tons of guys would have loved to make you breakfast. You just never stayed long enough to find out.” He paused for a moment, before giving Kei a smug smile. “Lucky for me though, I guess.”

Kei couldn’t return the smile. His chest got so heavy it was barely endurable. He felt tears burning in his eyes, and he didn’t even exactly know why. He didn’t want this; he didn’t want to feel so vulnerable.

“I think I need to leave”, he said all choked up, making his way to the front door.

Kuroo grabbed him by his arm, firmly, but not forceful enough to hurt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Kei just stared at his feet, trying hard to blink away the tears before they could spill out.

“I’m sorry”, he repeated with a soft voice. “Why don’t you stay?”

The blonde shook his head violently. Why couldn’t he just let him go? He didn’t need this; he didn’t want this. He just wanted to be at home, be numb again. But here he was, in front of this kind stranger, feeling like an idiot. In defiance of his effort to hold them back, tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Kuroo gently brushed them away with his thumbs. “Please stay”, he whispered and when Kei met his gaze, he looked so sorry, that Kei let himself be pulled back into the living room, onto the couch and into Kuroo’s arms.

“You do this a lot, don’t you?”, Kuroo eventually asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Going home with someone, sneaking out in the morning, that stuff.”

Kei didn’t reply. He didn't want to confirm that yes, he did this a lot. But he also didn’t want to lie because that meant admitting that he wanted to appeal to Kuroo.

He didn’t need to reply though, because Kuroo already knew.

"I’ve seen you around. At that bar, you know."

"Doesn’t that mean you also do this a lot?"

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. "I actually don’t, not really. I just come for a drink or two."

Kei didnt like this. He wished he hadn’t asked. It was as though they were being compared and it made him oh so aware of the fact that he wasn’t a beautiful person at all. He was easy, slutty. Usually that was something his hook ups appreciated. But Kuroo, who seemingly wasn’t like him, who wasn’t someone who usually slept around, must be seeing him like a dirty rug.

"Why did you call out to someone like me then?", he asked with a frown.

Kuroo furrowed his brows. “I didn’t call out to _someone like you_. I called out to you, it had to be you.”

Kei felt uneasy. Kuroo sure had a way to get under his skin. “Why?”

"You caught my eye. You were just too damn pretty."

"Just that, huh?" He laughed half-heartedly _. ‘It had to be you_.’ _Yeah, sure, or any other person that was his type_ , he thought.

"No, I mean... you also looked really lonely I guess."

That was worse. "So, out of pity?"

Kuroo shook his head, and carefully brushed a strand of blonde hair out of Kei’s face. "No. I just. Sorta found myself in your eyes. I don't know. You looked so lonely and that's a feeling I'm very familiar with."

He almost wanted to laugh at that, wanted to ask how a guy like Kuroo could possibly be familiar with that. But when he looked into his eyes, they looked so honest and vulnerable, Kei felt ashamed.

It hadn’t occurred to him that Kuroo could potentially be as lonely as him, which was pretty arrogant, wasn’t it? Assuming that the people around him were doing great just because they looked like they did, assuming that he was the only person feeling lonely or broken.

Fact was, he didn’t know him, and he didn’t know the struggles he had to face.

“I didn’t mean to assume-“, he started, because he felt like he owed Kuroo an apology.

But Kuroo shook his head. “Don’t worry”, he said, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I also didn’t mean to- I’m sorry if I came across as judgmental.”

Kei lifted his head a little and looked into Kuroo’s hazel eyes. Then he shifted his gaze down to his lips, which was enough of an invitation to prompt Kuroo to kiss him.

His lips were soft and kind, and his arms held him so tenderly, Kei wanted to just stay forever. He found himself in Kuroo’s lap, resting his head against the crook of his neck, while Kuroo ran his hands over his back.

This hadn’t been on Kei’s agenda. He had wanted to leave in the early morning, like always, get home and have some bitter coffee, like always, and spend the rest of the day studying or sleeping. His plans had surely not included this.

But it was nice.

They watched this and that on TV and Kei felt himself falling asleep against Kuroo’s chest. When he woke up, he was lying on the couch, Kuroo’s chest replaced by a pillow under his head. Noises came from the kitchen area, and when he sat up he saw Kuroo cutting some vegetables. He dozily took out his phone and checked the time.

It was 3 pm.

It was 3 pm and he was still at the house of his one-night stand.

“Oh, you’re awake”, Kuroo said with a smile, when he noticed Kei getting up. “Thought I would make us some lunch. It got a little late.”

Kei awkwardly shuffled over and sat down at the counter. “I don’t think I should still be here, should I?”

Kuroo just laughed and ruffled Kei’s hair, which promptly fell into his eyes. It was really time to get it cut.

“Didn’t I say about a million times, that I’d like it if you stayed?”

Kei shrugged. “That was this morning. But now it’s afternoon and you probably have better things to do than, well, this.”

“I don’t. But don’t feel forced to stay. I know, I sorta made you, but like, if you want to go, that’s totally fine”, he assured.

Kei didn’t really want to go. “Can I help?”, he asked instead and nodded at the vegetables on the counter. Kuroo refused and offered Kei to just take a shower while he prepared the food. He had already laid out a fresh towel in the bathroom, as well as shirt and sweatpants for Kei to borrow. When he put them on after showering, he couldn’t resist smelling the fabric. It smelled fresh and clean and like Kuroo.

It knocked on the bathroom door, and before Kei could have reacted it already swung open and Kuroo stuck his head in. “Hey, sorry, just wanted to tell you that-” He stopped when he saw Kei standing there in his clothes, the hem of his shirt pressed against his nose. “Uh- just- food is done.” And with that he disappeared back into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Kei just stared at the door, feeling the heat creeping up to his ears. He was so embarrassed, if the bathroom had had a window, and if Kuroo’s flat hadn’t been in the third floor, he probably would have climbed out.

But since that wasn’t an option, he reluctantly made his way back to the kitchen, where Kuroo was dishing up steamed vegetables.

It tasted pretty amazing, and Kei came to the conclusion that Kuroo must have a gift for cooking. After eating they played some games on the Wii and talked about this and that. It turned out that Kuroo was playing volleyball in his universities team, which was a hobby Kei used to pursue back in school as well, but he had lost the motivation around his second year of high school.

“You should come practice with me some time”, Kuroo said with a wide smile. “You’re tall so I’m sure you make an amazing middle blocker.”

“Yeah, maybe”, he said and to his surprise he meant it. Maybe he would. Maybe they would meet again.

As it became late evening Kei decided it was at the time to leave.

“You can sleep over, if you want to?”

Kei shook his head. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome, and he also had some chores to take care of (though he knew, he probably wouldn’t).

“No, I think I should really go, but it was nice. Thank you. I’ll just quickly change back into my clothes and head out.”

“Can we exchange numbers?”

Kei stopped in his tracks. _Maybe_ , he thought. _Maybe they would meet again_. “Yeah, okay”, he agreed, handing him his phone before heading for the bathroom.

“Just keep them on”, Kuroo interfered with a wink. “Maybe my chances of meeting you again are higher, if you have something to return.”

Kei blushed, but he didn’t protest. He stuffed his clothes into a fabric bag Kuroo handed him and slipped into his coat and shoes.

“See you, then”, he said before heading out, an unfamiliar fluttering feeling in his chest.

“See you, Tsukishima.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dsdhjsahdkaj i don't know I'm just very weak for kurotsukki and I like to make myself suffer  
> I'm not sure if I'm 100% happy with this but I hope you still enjoyed! Thanks for reading ♥  
> Comments are greatly appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

Kei rolled out of bed in the morning and fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table. He dozily made his way into the kitchen. When he walked past the mirror he realized, that he was still wearing the shirt Kuroo had borrowed him yesterday. But, in his defense, the shirt was just too comfortable to not sleep in it. Just like any other morning, he made some coffee poured it into a cup and shuffled over to one of his armchairs. Just before sitting down, he examined the black liquid in his cup. Maybe it was at the time, to change something, he thought, went back to the kitchen and poured some milk in. And then, because Kuroo was right and he did like sweet things, added some sugar as well.

He nestled down in the pillows of his armchair and sipped his sweet, sweet coffee. Kei found himself to be in a really, really good mood and he wondered, when he last felt like that.

After drinking his coffee and zipping through the channels a bit, he hungrily went back to the kitchen, just to find that he has literally nothing to eat. Even the rice was almost empty, so he threw on some clothes, grabbed bag and got himself some basic ingredients, as well as two pieces of strawberry cake.

It was strange really, because Kei felt productive. He felt motivated to get things done. Of course, his life wont suddenly be in order. But actually getting shit done, actually having proper breakfast (if you can call two pieces of cake a proper breakfast) was kind of a big deal for him, yet today it didn’t feel like such a big deal at all. He even did his laundry, mostly because he needed to wash and return Kuroo’s clothing, but still, what’s done is done.

In the early evening Kei found himself back on his armchair again, being a little proud of himself, which was nice for a change. He lazily turned the TV back on. There wasn’t anything too interesting there, so he settled for a volleyball game. It’d been quite a while since he had seen one. It reminded him of Kuroo, and he couldn’t help but wonder what he would look like on the field. _Did he mention what position he plays? Which number he has?_ Kei hadn’t missed playing volleyball much, but now he suddenly wanted to play again, play with him.

His phone buzzed, and much to his own dismay, he immediately sprung up to look at the screen only to find that it wasn’t Kuroo. Instead he’d received a message from Akiteru.

> **Tsukishima Akiteru:** hey Kei I haven’t heard anything from you in ages so I just wanted to know how you’re doing? is everything ok? are you eating properly?

Kei didn’t bother replying to the text his brother had send and just put his phone back onto the coffee table. It sucked, that Kuroo hadn’t contacted him yet, and it sucked even more that it bothered Kei this much. If only he was a little more indifferent about it. But he wasn’t. He kept wondering if Kuroo was going to text him, kept hoping that he would.

_Maybe he changed his mind_ , Kei thought. Not like he could blame him if he did. Kei knew he was a handful. He was salty and cold, and he fucking cried in front of this person he barely knew. So yeah, if Kuroo should have decided, that he wasn’t interested in someone as exhausting as Kei, he couldn’t be blamed.

Right when he started to get absorbed in all those depressing thoughts, all those reasons why Kuroo must have changed his mind, his phone buzzed again, this time in a longer pattern indicating it was a call.

Irritated he retrieved it from the table again, expecting it to be a call from his brother to complain that he hadn’t replied. But it wasn’t.

It was Kuroo.

He didn’t bother rolling his eyes over the dumb way, Kuroo had saved his own number. He was too nervous. His heart rate had gone up by zillion and he took a few deep breaths, before picking up with shaking hands.

“Yes?”, he said, trying desperately to sound casual but he probably didn’t.

"You're not at the bar."

"I'm not ALWAYS at the bar", Kei said with a snort.

"You kinda are though.” Kuroo paused. “Well, I don't know if I should feel relieved that you're not hooking up with someone or disappointed that I don’t get to see you."

"How do you know I’m not hooking up with someone?", he said with a cheeky undertone to his voice.

It was silent for a bit at the other end of the line.

"Are you?"

"No. I'm home."

“Alone?”

“Obviously.”

“Can I come?”

„I’m not going to dress up for you.”

“Is that a yes?”, Kuroo asked and Kei could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah”, he replied without thinking.

“Really?”, Kuroo asked excitedly. “Send me your address via text, I’ll be right there!” And with that he hung up.

After texting him the address, he stared onto the black phone screen for a second, an idiotic smile on his lips.

And then he realized. He’d just invited Kuroo to his flat.

Kuroo who was fucking gorgeous and who had a nice, homely apartment was going to see his flat. He frantically looked around, trying to make his place more presentable. It wasn’t that his place was messy – the only stuff that ever piled up were dishes and laundry, and he was relieved he took care of both today. But his home looked sparse and grey in comparison to the warmth Kuroo’s place radiated.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had someone over at his flat. He never brought one-night stands, because he hated the thought of them overstaying their welcome. And for his college friends… well, he had to admit he hadn’t been doing a very good job at sustaining his friendships or relationships in general and he wasn’t even sure they even considered him a friend anymore.

Needless to say, that Kei felt himself panic. _What do you even do, when you’re having someone over? Are you supposed to offer something to drink?_ Kei wasn’t sure he could offer anything aside from coffee. _Why was Kuroo even coming over? Did he want to hook up again? Or watch another Ghibli movie?_

Unsure, what to expect, he started wandering around in the flat, trying to fix his flat and his face, but really there wasn’t much he could do in the small amount of time he had.

And then he heard the doorbell.

He stopped dead in his tracks and just stared at the door for a while. _Maybe, he should just not open the door. Maybe he should just block Kuroo’s number and pretend they had never met._

He waited so long, Kuroo had probably left by now. He didn’t ring the doorbell again. Kei wanted to hit himself for being too much of a coward to open up the door, even though he had been wanting to meet Kuroo again so badly.

But then his phone buzzed, and a message from Kuroo appeared on the screen. He didn’t know what he had expected but it surely wasn’t the Let me iiiiiiin meme with a sad smiley face and ridiculous black hair drawn over Eric Andre. Kei found himself actually snorting at that. Another message popped up shortly after.

> **Kuroo (** **ⓛ** **ω** **ⓛ** **):** pwettypwease.png
> 
> **Kuroo (** **ⓛ** **ω** **ⓛ** **):** Seriously though, please let me in? I wanna see u (and it’s so cooold)

Kei took another deep breath before walking over to the door and buzzing him in. Since Kei was living on the first floor, it didn’t take long for the black-haired boy to stand before him.

_Fuck,_ he thought, when Kuroo ruffled through his own hair with a dashing smile. _That guy really is the most handsome person ever, isn’t he?_

“Tsukishima”, he said fondly, and Kei liked the way his name sounded when Kuroo said it.

He awkwardly stepped aside to let Kuroo in and shut the door after him.

“Let me take your-“

Kei was interrupted by Kuroo cupping his face and pressing a kiss onto his lips. They were as soft as he remembered them to be and he was a little disappointed when Kuroo pulled back again.

“-jacket”, he finished, puzzled and a little breathless.

“Yeah, thanks”, Kuroo replied and slipped out of his coat and shoes. Kei wanted to offer him slippers, but really, he didn’t even have any for himself. Kuroo didn’t seem to mind though, because he casually stepped into Kei’s bedroom (which doubled as living room), curiously eyeing his shelves.

“Your flat is cute”, he said without turning around.

“You mean small?”, Kei replied, rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean it’s cute. It fits you.”

Kei had no idea what he meant by that and decided to ignore the remark and change the topic.

“Do you want a drink? I mean uhm, I guess I should have bought something, but it was short notice so- uhm, I mean I have coffee I guess, maybe tea?” He suddenly felt really embarrassed and wondered why the hell he had to offer a drink when he didn’t actually have anything to offer. “Sorry”, he added and adjusted his glasses.

“Don’t worry”, Kuroo said and stepped a little closer to Kei. “I didn’t come here to drink.”

Kei felt his mouth getting dry, at the sudden closeness. It felt intimate, flirty. “What did you come here for then?”

“Recharging”, he said, playfully, and pulled Kei into a tight hug that made Kei worry for the wellbeing of his ribs. But then Kuroo buried his face in the curve of Kei’s neck and it suddenly didn’t feel like a joke anymore. He hugged him so tightly, so desperately as though he was longing for shelter.

Kei gently wrapped his arms around Kuroo, drawing circles onto his back. The black-haired boy softened his grip a little but didn’t let go yet. They stood there for a while, silently, Kuroo’s breath tickling his skin.

Eventually Kuroo pulled back and placed a quick kiss on Kei’s forehead. “Okay”, he said, the bright smile back on his face. “I’m all refreshed.”

~

They spent the evening talking about this and that until Kuroo eventually laid his eyes upon an old photograph of Kei and Akiteru playing volleyball. He lifted the frame up and turned to Kei.

“Oh, you really did play volleyball then.”

Kei raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why would I lie about that?”

“To appeal to me?”, Kuroo asked with a wink and sat the picture back down onto the shelf. “Is that your brother?”

He nodded.

“Are you close?”

“I guess… we used to be”, Kei said with an unsure shrug.

Kuroo suddenly looked a little unsure. “Oh, I’m sorry is he-“

“No! No, no, he’s alive and well”, Kei interrupted quickly. “I’ve just gotten very bad at keeping in touch.” He laughed, but it sounded hollow. His eyes fell onto the photo and they looked so happy and carefree. He suddenly missed that, missed his brother.

Kuroo nodded. “Yeah, I get what you mean.”

After a moment of weird silence, Kei suggested to watch something on TV, though he couldn’t offer a Ghibli movie. Kuroo agreed and they each sat down in one of Kei’s armchairs. They didn’t talk during the movie, and honestly Kei didn’t even register what movie they were watching. Now, that Kuroo was quiet for once, Kei felt nervous; tense. He kept stealing glances at Kuroo, trying to see something in his face. _Does Kuroo think it’s awkward? Boring? Does he want to go home?_ But he seemed focused on the screen.

Kei decided to escape the situation for a moment to make tea. Luckily, he found two abandoned tea bags in one of his cupboards and brewed a small can. When he came back to the room, he sat the tablet down onto the coffee table. Kuroo watched him attentively, without saying anything and it made Kei feel so nervous, he was afraid he would drop the tea. He didn’t though.

When he was about to sit back down, he felt Kuroo brushing his wrist with his fingers, bevor pullin him into his lap.

“Sit here”, he said quietly. “You’re too far away.”

Kei didn’t dare to turn and meet his gaze. He felt the heat creep up to his ears and hoped Kuroo wouldn’t be able to see it from behind. He didn’t struggle though. It was warm and nice and when Kuroo wrapped his arms around his waist he felt safe.

~

Kei always left in the early morning hours. He never stayed for breakfast. He didn’t watch movies with hook-ups. He didn’t exchange phone numbers. He never invited anyone over. And he especially didn’t invite anyone into his bed.

Yet, he seemed to be breaking all his rules when it came to Kuroo.

Yet, he found himself nodding, when Kuroo asked if they should go to bed.

He awkwardly turned around, when Kuroo got rid of his sweater and pants, and slipped out of his own clothes. He felt embarrassed about being almost naked in front of Kuroo, even though he’d seen it all before. With red cheeks and his back turned, he hurried into his loose t-shirt for sleeping, only to get stuck with the shirt covering his face and his arms over his head. He cursed himself for being too dumb to put on a fucking t-shirt. _Could this get anymore humiliating?_

He flailed helplessly, trying to get in or out of the shirt, when he suddenly felt a presence closely behind him.

“Let me help”, Kuroo whispered with a small chuckle and pulled down the shirt for him.

“Thanks”, Kei replies with a hoarse voice. He feels his cheeks and ears burning. _Yes, it could get more humiliating._

~

They were just laying in the darkness of the bedroom in silence. Kuroo hadn’t tried to make a move on him, and really Kei was glad about it because he wasn’t in the mood for sex. But he also knew, that if not doing it meant, that Kuroo would have left, he wouldn’t have refused him.

Kei couldn’t remember ever sharing a bed with someone without doing it. It seemed to be the price for sharing warmth. But not tonight; tonight, it came for free.

“You said you’re lonely”, Kei said eventually, the blanket pulled up to his eyes.

“I guess I did.”

“Why?”

Kuroo laughed at that, but it didn’t sound smug or happy, just sad. “It’s not like there is a reason. And I probably shouldn’t be feeling lonely, because I know there are people who care for me but I just-” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel so isolated, you know?”

“Yeah”, Kei said. “I know.” Because he did, because it was the same for him too.

Kuroo propped himself up and Kei immediately felt something aching in his chest. _Was he going to get up and leave?_

“Do you have plans tomorrow?”, Kuroo asked quietly.

“Who needs tomorrow?”, he said and snuggled up to Kuroo. He didn’t want to think about the next day, he didn’t want to think about reasons for Kuroo not to stay. “It doesn’t matter, just stay.”

“No, I meant… If you’re free tomorrow, can I take you out for dinner?”

Kei looked up at him in the darkness of his bedroom. That wasn’t what he had expected.

“If I’m completely honest I don’t know if I want to go out tomorrow”, he said, trying not to make it sound like some stupid excuse, because it wasn’t. “I’ve been out too much, I’m exhausted.”

“Oh”, Kuroo said, and the disappointment in his voice was more than obvious.

“But”, Kei said with a slight blush on his cheeks, “if it isn’t too much to ask, you could absolutely cook me dinner.”

Kuroo perked up at that, a wide smile on his face. “I’d like that!” And with that, he pressed his lips against Kei’s forehead, which seemed to become a habit – not that Kei was complaining – and snuggled up to him.

“You know”, Kuroo said after a while, “I can’t explain it well, and maybe it’s too much, too early but-” His voice got even lower and it sounded raw and vulnerable. “It’s been a long time, since I’ve felt this comfortable. I said I’m lonely, but when I’m with you I don’t feel that way at all.”

Kei felt his heart burst at his words. “Me too”, he replied, all choked up.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling more at home than right here, in Kuroo’s arms.

~

When Kei woke up, Kuroo was gone. He felt his heart sink for a moment, but then he heard rattling from the kitchen. He grabbed his glasses and his phone from the nightstand. It was around 9am.

Looking at his phone, he remembered his brother’s text, and decided to reply, before making his way to the kitchen. If he missed his brother, if he wanted to fix their relationship, he had to put in some effort too.

> **To: Tsukishima Akiteru**
> 
> I’m good. Hope you’re also doing well? I’ll come over some time.

He threw the phone back onto his bed and left the room.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, when he spotted Kuroo preparing food.

“I know you said, I could cook you dinner, but I thought I might as well start with breakfast.”

Kei laughed. “You’re my guest, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. But I wanted to. Coffee?”, Kuroo replied, already pouring him a cup with milk.

Kei nodded. “Yeah, sugar too.”

A grin spread on Kuroo’s face. “I knew you have a sweet tooth!”

“I guess I do”, Kei said, before leaning in to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed the story and that the ending was satisfying.  
> Mayyyyybe I'll create more for this universe at some point - we'll see.
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated♥


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